ok the stress of just being me has me wrapped in such an impenetrable FUNK today i can't begin to shake it! as far as the idea of weaning off of the lamictal.... my rash is so much better and i have not had a head ache in days. on the other hand, racing thoughts and ongoing panic is hard to deal with!
Saturday my son called. Tuesday dec. 29 he ran away from the lock down drug rehab center where he has been for a court ordered stay of 90days. So after no word at all for 11 days, he calls to say he had been arrested, was at that point in cps custody and is being taken back to rehab.
meanwhile my skin crawls, my head pounds, i can see the individual molecules of the solid objects around me spin and dance. spots and sparkles dominate my vision, the walls wave, and panic floods my world........
i took my first 75mg at 7 and am on my way to take a xanax before gather the courage to kill myself......
now it is 9pm, once i finished my last update i got busy and forgot to take a xanax. i obviously lived thru the rest of the day. a dear friend of mine called and invited me to go to our alanon group! i am glad i went, i feel better, i am going to take one more dose of 75mg of lamictal and try to get some sleep!