ok i went to see my dr. about the cat scan done last week of my right kidney..... yay me i have 8 to 10 small kidney stones in my kidney..... i will go to the valley next week to see a urologist next week.
really really really rough week! aside from the shaking and headaches from stress, i am holding at 50 mg. am and pm. i am really glad i have kept a journal so i can read my back entries and remember why i am doing this....... i am feeling very frustrated! not just because of my situation, it is a chemical change. i have gone thru it enuf times to know it when i see it! i am starting to not feel like me anymore. well i am the really angry and illogical me who i don't want to be. and giving birth to a kidney stone every other day is not making this any easier!
i really am past the suicidal thoughts which i knew at the time, were not my own. and now i am just at the point that it sucks to be me so bad that i am forgetting the point of going on.......
holding holding holding on!
i am off to get star out of the tub and get her to bed, then i will 2 more percocets and a promethazine...... i hate drugs! i don't see how people become addicted! grrrrrrrrr!