i feel like i have a lot to get written down since the last time i posted.... i have had a lot of racing thoughts and have not really been able to focus, but i will try to get down everything..... the day planner help so very much! not so many thoughts of suicide, having a back up plan helped! this week i need to schedule in food though, i have a hard time with my appetite and have to concentrate to keep my weight up, i went to the dr. today and was 9 lbs under my self imposed minimum weight. will work on that.
i did good on the reducing schedule i set, this week i will do 50mg am and pm four days and 50/75 three days.....i am feeling more and more a pressing need to be off these meds! every time i see one of those horrid commercials for prescription drugs i listen to the list of side effects and tic off all the ones i have and start to panic...... my right kidney has been hurting off and on for 2 months, which is obviously worrisome, but my rash is completely gone, my headaches are greatly reduced, my panic attacks are much more random and my sleep pattern seems to be becoming more regular.... the cleansing idea seems to have been a good one too!
lots of water was good, this week i will start taking milk thistle and cayenne everyday to clean my liver and kidneys, and vitamin e and lecithin, good oils for the brain, lessen random electrical impulses.
ok what else.......i know there was something else but i can't think..... will update when it comes to me...... (: i love God, i love my life! i am grateful for my opportunity to be a marathon runner. i don't know it i have shared my analogy of the tests God have given us...."every ones test cant be equal, because every person is different. some spirits are like a person in a wheel chair and some are marathon runners" i don't know if that makes sense to anyone but me, i guess it is like the parable of the field workers.... i just keep working at it!
ok can i please say how much i love blog land!? i follow so many amazing bloggers! at any point of the day i am feeling down i can log on and be personally invited in to the homes, workshops and studios of people who live creative and spiritual lives and i remember that there is good in the world! i thank God little boost everyday! (: