the past 5 days have been really rough ones! i feel like i need to journal what has been going on before i move on to the next whatever....... i was down to 50mg am and 75mg pm four days a week and 75/75 the other three...friday morning i woke up with a headache, i knew sunday was dad's birthday and everyone was supposed to get together......um yeah, panic!
now that i am trying to remember, it is all fuzzy......i think it was good friday so star was home from school, i tried to nip the headache in the bud by taking 2 fioricet, when that didn't touch it in 15 or 20 minutes i started to think i was in trouble...... my headache got worse fast, i started to get nauseous. i thought it was a migraine coming on, but then by about 10 my brain went into "anti word find mode." i started having tics (myo clonic) so i took a xanax and tried to sleep it off.
i really can't believe i got thru the day with out really having a fit! it was the worst chain of symptoms ever that didn't turn into a trip to the hospital!
being the vain spirit that i am, i am telling myself that it was a gift from God and a break thru in my effort to self control.... i am sure it doesn't sound like it, but it really was a miracle! it sounds like i took a lot of meds, but in medical terms that would be more familiar, i got thru what would have needed morphine with a tylenol pm.....
yay me!
the weekend was not fun, but i got thru it, i thought i was over the worst and quite proud of myself, then tuesday the dad called and said that he was moving on to plan "B" with the boy....that was a blow! but my support group have kicked it into high gear! i called rayna tuesday night and she spent two hours talking me thru it, mellie has called or text me every 30 min. for three days and mom will not let me out of her sight! i am blessed to have such amazing loved ones! cheri came over tonight and took me out with the girls!
i love life! i am so lucky, i know it sounds like it sucks to be me, but i am very proud to be a marathon runner! on second thought....maybe a triathlon! (:
Hi sweetheart. You are a champion. Keep looking for those moments. Recognizing that those people are there for you, and knowing what a gift they are, is a blessing. It's the small things. The small things make and break us. Keep letting them make you. I don't know what the "Plan B" business is but "this too shall pass". I've always known you had a tender spirit and a beautiful soul. You have held a special place in my heart always. Take care of you and please continue to let others do so as well. Will pray for you.
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